Potentially tripping balls, please stand by

Oh man, I have just had the craziest, most psychedelic, sexual dream ever.  Oh my god.  Okay.  Here we go.

A boy washed up on shore one morning.  I somehow knew he had been raped and thrown to sea.


I held him against me all morning, waiting for him to awaken.


One of my irl coworkers (yesss this again), Piper, joined me in waiting for him to wake up.  Apparently, he was at least partially robotic, and the water had not done good things to him, so she had me open the panel on the back of his neck and press some buttons.


He awoke with the most furious thrashing ever.  We both had to hold him down with he got over the panic attack.


Then, I realized someone had written PIPER down all over the back of his neck.  I looked at her.


He calmed down, then looked at her angrily.  "You're that bitch from McDonalds who wouldn't give me the special because I left my coupon at home."


"That's her job," I interjected, then let him go on his merry way.


Later (I can only assume it was the same crazed androidbot), girls began to go missing.  Four, in fact.


I traced them back to this house with a long flight of stairs leading into a creepy-ass basement.  I stood at the top of the stairs with another boy, one who lived in this house.


Through the darkness, a light show began to play.


First, a song came on.  A dark, gritty, slow rock song, with a male singer telling me in a voice full of sex that he would get me 'as hypnotized as lightning'.


Then, in neon colors like a Lite Brite, shapes began to form on the ceiling of the stairwell.  It turned into a space scene, with rockets and stars.


Slowly, a light came on at the bottom of the stairs.  The missing girls were there, naked, masturbating with each other.  The music got louder, the lights went out.


When they came back on, it was a single naked bulb above a table, set up just past the first step.  On it where three large candles, with two wicks apiece.  The wicks were bending over and standing up in time to the beat.


I can only assume that if this person was trying to get me to come down the stairs, it definitely worked.

Yes, sir, I'd love to be one of your trippy masturbating girls locked in an eternal light show.  Ooookay then.

The Maid / Hamlet, Celty

People mentioned: Jerry

A very sexually charged evening, I've had.

In one, I was in a very fancy, skimpy maid's outfit.  Jerry and I were getting into some kinky cowgirl-position bondage.


Our real sex life is no where near as exciting.

In the other, I got to meet Hamlet Machine, author of the comic sensation Starfighter.  In my dream, she looked like this one actress from the independent movie 'Ink'.

source: http://www.knowthemovies.com/

This is what she actually looks like: (she's in the middle, and I'm just seeing this for the first time today C:)

source: http://www.starfightercomic.com/

She was super cool.  But I had to take a rickety elevator in a pretty decrepit building to the top floor to get to her.

When I bade her farewell (after talking about what, I can only speculate at this point) I tried to take the elevator down.  But it jammed.  Alarm bells went off as it spiraled between floors like it was on rubber bands.

When the doors finally opened and the lift came to a halt, it was... Shinra from Durarara opening the doors for me.  And I was looking into the building's secret basement.

I was both delighted and confused, so I followed him out of the elevator.  So, apparently, in my dreams, he's a mad scientist, rather than a rouge doctor.  So, guess what was sitting on a leather couch just randomly in the middle of the concrete floor?

Celty.  And not just any Celty.  Robot Celty.

With no ado whatsoever, I plopped myself into her lap and made out with her.  Well, as close to making out as you can when one party has no head  But I sure as hell felt up that lovely pile of circuits ♥  Yes yes.  ♥♥

RoboCelty?  Why didn't my waking mind ever think of that??!  That is just, aah, too much.  No wonder I dropped everything I was doing like "I'mma hit that asap bro thanks."

I'm probably so hypersexual because I've received literally the BEST piece of gift art that I ever have in my entire life.  It's hot as hell.  I feel asleep restless and fitful, and apparently it translated well into dreams 8D;;;

The Concert

People mentioned: Jerry

So, I've been neglecting this page, D:  Mostly because I'm so procrastinatory, and partially because of my book getting released.  Soooo.

Last night, I dreamt of Rob.  (That's Rob Swire, for those not in the kno~ow.)

My dreams of him range from ecstasy to hell, and this one was like a somewhat psychedelic version of hell.

It was late at night.  Eleven, to be exact.


Jerry and I were getting ready to go to the Knife Party concert (irl, this will be happening in March.)  But time was moving in slow motion...


The concert was to start at nine, but every movement I made was taking hours.


I began to draw, with a thick black paint-dipped brush.  I traced lovingly every contour of his face, the deep shadows beneath his eyes, and around his head, I drug a slow halo.  


As trite as it was, I told him in my heart, "You are my angel."


I had never thought of it this way.  I felt moved, deep in my heart.


It was then three am before I knew it, as I was stroking the final golds and blacks onto the huge piece.  We were in the car, moving both fast and in slow motion at the same time.  My heart was sinking, and the panic kicked in - was I too late?


I felt really helpless to get this piece of my work to him.  I think the picture I drew represented every internal feeling I have for this man, and running so far behind represents every missed opportunity I've had to give him art or catch his eye.

It was really distressing.

I woke up in a strange, quiet mood.  Not quite ready to take on the day.

Love Babies, With Love From LMFAO

People mentioned:  Jerry!

Dude, freaky dream, gotta run it by you guys.  o___O

I was gaining weight inexplicably.  I asked a friend and they told me I was pregnant!  Gasp!


Oh god, Jerry!  I'm pregnant!


But, it's not yours!


It must be.... REDFOO'S BABY.

image from http://mixredding.com/

But you've got to be fucking kidding me.

But yes, alas!  I must be pregnant, for I must pee every ten minutes!

Oh, Jerry, I am so scared, but oddly accepting of the fact that I am bulbous with baby!  O god, I have betrayed your love!

By the end of the dream, it turned out I was just a little overweight, not pregnant, but had still screwed a crazy ass not-quite-rapper that I have no sexual desire for in real life, thus cheating on my manfriend.  D:

I'll create a new tag for WTF, but I don't know if I'll ever use it again after this O____O

A Long Night

For mentioned names, please see Quick Ref tab above.
People mentioned here: Jerry, Brianna

I slept way too long last night, so I had a multitude of craziness.

To preface, I'm not particularly under a lot of stress, it feels like.  I'm in a better state of mind than I've been in possibly a year.  I'm making (slightly) more money and between Jerry and myself we're doing alright.  My favorite famous person in the world is coming to Tennessee for the first time ever to blast us all away, my apartment is somewhat clean and starting to get furniture.

In short/tl;dr - I feel much happier than normal.

So, I get weird dreams!  Enjoy.  XD

I was driving late at night in a strange place.  When late night turned to early morning, I decided I wanted some Burger King breakfast croissants.


Somehow, instead of ending up at Burger King, I was suddenly in Las Vegas, early morning.  I was wearing tight, shiny, purple, leopard prints pants and a purple tank top like something straight out of an LMFAO music video.


I went into a casino that happened to be having a random drawing for thousands of dollars towards dream weddings.  I leapt at the chance - there were going to be three drawings, and even third place got $1,000 dollars.


Turns out I knew the other two in the contest - Meagan, one of my coworkers, and the third one, I don't remember anymore.  Oops.

This is Meagan, although I have no idea what's going on in this pic :o)

When the draw happened, the three of us were the three winners.  Imagine that!  So in order to claim my $1k, I had to go through processing.


Now, processing in this dream meant getting put in a little booth that traveled through underground tunnels, like a cross between what happened in Caspar and a carnival ride.  All the while, a narrator was telling me how the guy who was going to 'process' me hoped I was hot so he could probably molest me, but since I wasn't, it was disappointing.


Wtf?  Self esteem issues much?
Dude, I just the other day had a drunk discussion with someone about how beautiful I thought she was and vice-versa XDDD  My self esteem issues should be fixed by now.

Other than that, wow, okay, random Caspar sequence from my far off childhood and Vegas?  I mean, I love Vegas, so why not dream about it?

I was sitting on the top of some bleachers that were folded in, i.e., in compact mode.  I could not jump to get down and was sort of stuck.


Then, magically and randomly, Brianna appeared out of nowhere and started sliding the bleachers out by hand to help me down.


When I got down, she took me by the hand and we walked off.  I felt intensely giddy and girly.


Like Inception said, the desire for catharsis is greater than the desire for revenge.

This next one is a little more difficult to remember, as I waited a few days to post it.  Here it goes, to the best of my memory...

It was night, in a mutated fun house straight out of nightmares.  Broken lightbulbs on the exterior, clowns with chipping paint faces, and a creaking sound to every metal bone in its body.


Within, I was all but trapped, but this was no nightmare.  I remember riding a shaking elevator barely big enough for one up and down the levels.  Inside was a little robotic clown girl who said nothing, but listened to my problems every time I rode.


I later found out she was sentient.  The next time I rode the elevator, I tried to talk to her, but she still would not respond.


Beside the funhouse was a set of rusted, overgrown train tracks.  I could hear whistling in the distance, but there was no train.


What's frustrating is that I know there was a lot more cool things to this but since I'm a procrastinator I have totally forgotten it all.  Oh well.

Strange Things in the Kitchen, Self-Sacrifice

I have a backlog of things to post, as always, but last night I had some rather intense goings-on in my not-always-happy dreamland that I really need to get out.

I've been hitting a string of nightmare lately.  Weird, shaking, painful ones, hitting the highest point I've ever hit last night as I let myself be murdered.

So, I'm going to start with the dream I had last night that didn't involve death, but it was, uh,.... okay, here it is.

It's worth mentioning that the brother in this dream is in no way related to my irl half-brother Joe.  This was a dream-only character with zero resemblance.  Although, this is still weird as is.

I worked at a restaurant as a waitress, and my brother was a cook.


I went to take a woman her drink of wine, and recognized her from where I work irl (although I'm not sure who she was / if she actually exists / call it a dream thing).  We started talking as I poured some pepper into her table candle to enhance the scent (??).


I went back into the kitchen, which really really resembled another section of booths rather than a kitchen, to find my brother drinking on the job, already pretty far gone.


"What the fuck are you doing?" I demanded, folding the serving platter under my arm.  "You are going to get fired!"


He said nothing, sort of just observing me.


I acted on an impulse, testing the waters that I know are troubled.  I grab him by the collar with my left hand, pulling his head down to my level.  (I'm 5'1" irl and in this dream; he is well over six feet)  We gave each other a long stare.


He gave in, wrapping his arms around my waist and hoisted me into a deep kiss.  He smelled like fresh laundry.  Which is good, but as a cook, shouldn't he smell different?


I backed up, nodded, and went about my job, leaving him to his own devices.


YES.  Dream incest.  WTF.

Thank god that it was not my real brother or I'd be in counseling instead of typing this out.  If there is any symbolism in this, I think I'm missing it.  Also, I've never been a waitress.  Or put pepper into candle wax.

*suddenly tempted to try it*  o__o

Okay, onto the more exciting one.

The setting is a prison break, late at night, with heavy rain.


The prison was almost completely empty.  A group of us were trapped within, unable to escape as the entire prison ground swarmed with armed, dangerous criminals.


I was huddled into a large holding cell with five or six others, cold, scared, awaiting the worst.  There was one prisoner in particular that I knew would be looking for me, with a vengeance.


I did not know why he wanted me specifically.  I just knew that he was coming to kill me.


And he did.


Appearing through the flashes of lightning like a jagged tree's silhouette, he slumped into the cell, carrying with him a motorized, cordless circular saw.

Thank you, www.lowes.com, for powering my nightmares.


I stepped in front of everyone else, determined to protect them.  I knew it was me alone he'd come for.


Within seconds, he had me pinned to the ground, looming over me like a dark predator.  He clicked the machine on, and while aiming for elsewhere, nicked my thigh on accident, tearing it open.


I finally began to feel fear.  I scream outright in agony, feeling the blade rip at me.  I clung to a dying hope that someone was going to come to my rescue, but I knew this was it.  I had chosen this.  I was dying.


The last thing I actually feel is a huff of air from the motor across my bare belly.  When the saw actually hit my stomach, I was beyond feeling.  I was swimming dizzily in a panicked spiral, where all I could hear was the whirring blade and my own distant screaming.  I was slightly aware that my insides were being literally ripped to shreds, but it wasn't long before I swooned in fear, causing me to slowly dissolve into consciousness on the other side.


Makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it @_@

Okay, no idea where that came from.  I'm the one who laughs at chainsaws and the like as weapons.  I don't think I've ever seriously died in a dream like that, that I can remember so vividly.

But I suddenly, even if only in dreamland, understood the psychology behind living a normal life and suddenly finding courage in the face of death.

Most famous example is my favorite historic figure, Marie Antoinette.  She was a sad individual under a lot of stress, having come from her homeland of Austria to marry into French aristocracy.  Then, surprise surprise, Austria and France became enemies.  Fuck her life.

She took out a lot of sadness, I believe, in buying expensive things.  So, on the outside, she lived a shallow life without my detail, only to suddenly buck up in the face of death and accept it nobly, like a truly unconquerable, strong soul.

That's kind of how I felt, knowing I was going to die.  Sudden courage.

In real life, my wager is still me going out like a whining, scared little bitch.

I've always said I'd be the one to challenge a schoolyard gunman by making it a fist fight.

Anyway, toodles for today, I'm off to wear many layers and distract myself from the tummy area.

I am a lardass who figured out how to make pigs in a blanket and then consumed about 14 of them right before bed.  I slept for... um... probably ten or eleven hours.

Casino Night

So, I've been kinda slacking off on my reports, mostly because I keep dreaming weird little inexplicable pieces and bits.  As in, in the last week, I magically appeared out of LMFAO's washing machine to give them some cryptic advice, merely to sink back into the magically tunnel inside the machine.  Wtf?

I'm writing this at 10:30pm, meaning, there's probably a lot missing from this.  But it's been a week since I've had a cohesive/non-useless dream, so enjoy.

I worked in a casino, and was there for a dinner party one night.  I was dressed in a fine midnight blue dress, although it was slightly strange/backwards, but it made sense in-dream.  So yeah, it opened up in the back.  See below for the picture I drew for you...

Weird, right?  Just some midnight blue butt-covering fabric to go underneath the 'outer' part of the dress.


So, I had someone call on the phone, asking if the voice going over the intercom could be sent over the phone.  (?????)  I told him yes, and then he asked to meet me.


Flash forward.  Instead of looking like myself, I had the hair of your typical mental image of a curly black-haired fortune teller.  I was lying naked with the man from the phone on the side of a cliff overlooking a slope of dirt that led to a little lake.


We exchanged sweet glances, and he said something about, "Well, I find you attractive *oh ho ho longing sigh* and you somehow find me attractive... *manly grin and laugh*, so of course we've nothing to fear."  *breast grab*


But then, I noticed a grey snake above his head, resembling a puff adder.

source: http://wikiworkspace.pbworks.com

I was alarmed, but he merely tossed it away like it was nothing.  Okay, back to kissing and the bare breasts and stuff.


Okay, I lied, it's not cohesive.  But there was some weird symbolism going on so I thought I might talk about it.

I ate some cheesy potatoes before bed and slept about ten hours.