The Maid / Hamlet, Celty

People mentioned: Jerry

A very sexually charged evening, I've had.

In one, I was in a very fancy, skimpy maid's outfit.  Jerry and I were getting into some kinky cowgirl-position bondage.


Our real sex life is no where near as exciting.

In the other, I got to meet Hamlet Machine, author of the comic sensation Starfighter.  In my dream, she looked like this one actress from the independent movie 'Ink'.

source: http://www.knowthemovies.com/

This is what she actually looks like: (she's in the middle, and I'm just seeing this for the first time today C:)

source: http://www.starfightercomic.com/

She was super cool.  But I had to take a rickety elevator in a pretty decrepit building to the top floor to get to her.

When I bade her farewell (after talking about what, I can only speculate at this point) I tried to take the elevator down.  But it jammed.  Alarm bells went off as it spiraled between floors like it was on rubber bands.

When the doors finally opened and the lift came to a halt, it was... Shinra from Durarara opening the doors for me.  And I was looking into the building's secret basement.

I was both delighted and confused, so I followed him out of the elevator.  So, apparently, in my dreams, he's a mad scientist, rather than a rouge doctor.  So, guess what was sitting on a leather couch just randomly in the middle of the concrete floor?

Celty.  And not just any Celty.  Robot Celty.

With no ado whatsoever, I plopped myself into her lap and made out with her.  Well, as close to making out as you can when one party has no head  But I sure as hell felt up that lovely pile of circuits ♥  Yes yes.  ♥♥

RoboCelty?  Why didn't my waking mind ever think of that??!  That is just, aah, too much.  No wonder I dropped everything I was doing like "I'mma hit that asap bro thanks."

I'm probably so hypersexual because I've received literally the BEST piece of gift art that I ever have in my entire life.  It's hot as hell.  I feel asleep restless and fitful, and apparently it translated well into dreams 8D;;;

The Concert

People mentioned: Jerry

So, I've been neglecting this page, D:  Mostly because I'm so procrastinatory, and partially because of my book getting released.  Soooo.

Last night, I dreamt of Rob.  (That's Rob Swire, for those not in the kno~ow.)

My dreams of him range from ecstasy to hell, and this one was like a somewhat psychedelic version of hell.

It was late at night.  Eleven, to be exact.


Jerry and I were getting ready to go to the Knife Party concert (irl, this will be happening in March.)  But time was moving in slow motion...


The concert was to start at nine, but every movement I made was taking hours.


I began to draw, with a thick black paint-dipped brush.  I traced lovingly every contour of his face, the deep shadows beneath his eyes, and around his head, I drug a slow halo.  


As trite as it was, I told him in my heart, "You are my angel."


I had never thought of it this way.  I felt moved, deep in my heart.


It was then three am before I knew it, as I was stroking the final golds and blacks onto the huge piece.  We were in the car, moving both fast and in slow motion at the same time.  My heart was sinking, and the panic kicked in - was I too late?


I felt really helpless to get this piece of my work to him.  I think the picture I drew represented every internal feeling I have for this man, and running so far behind represents every missed opportunity I've had to give him art or catch his eye.

It was really distressing.

I woke up in a strange, quiet mood.  Not quite ready to take on the day.

Mark #2 - The Stars - Being Poor - The Graveyard - My Old Horses/Neighbors - SKOOOLLL

AKA a cool bunch of snippets!

Throughout the night, I made a huge, conscious effort to remember everything.  Everything.  So, whenever I would awake, I came up with a keyword for the dream to help me remember it.  It appears to have worked, because I actually remember more than usual.

The cool thing is, I even dreamed of writing down the keywords.  Talk about dream control.

Anyway, on to the dreams!

Jerry confronted me one day about how he knew about the party and what had happened.  I had no idea what he was talking about.


Then suddenly, unbidden, I remembered what he was talking about. It all came to me in a flash.


I had gotten drunk and had sex with our (irl) neighbor, Mark.  (not the coworker Mark.  Wow, I know a lot of Marks.)


I felt horrible, with immediate regret.


I did not get a good reading on what Jerry felt.  We can all assume it was not pleasant.  :|  *poker face*

Our neighbor Mark is an older guy, probably around 30 or so.  (For those that don't know, I'm fricken 19.)  He is a bassist in a garage-type band.  Jerry and I are on pretty friendly terms with him, cause he is a pretty cool guy.  He's got a little dog named Izzy.  Perfect conversation starter.  We see him out walking her a lot, that's usually when we see him to stop and talk to him.

But, not only does he have a lovely girlfriend and a happy-ass little dog, I don't think of him like that.

My brain probably went "Okay, okay, cheating dream, pick a person, preferably male-- AH.  MARK THE NEIGHBOR IT IS, WHEEL'O'SEX."

Guess it could have been worse.   Poor Mark the Neighbor.

I was lying with my Mom's cousin (so my first cousin? second?) and her daughter in their room beneath a huge sea of glow in the dark stars that covered all the walls and ceiling.  I felt at peace.


I know exactly how this got cranked out.  On Christmas Eve I was left alone too long with my period having just started that day, so I got rull, rull lonely.

Jerry was off with his family.  I do not get along with his father, and I think I might've had a stomachache.  Regardless, I didn't go to this awesome party that I loved last year with his family because I am a pussy who could not face his father.  (That I'm a Pussy feeling may have brought on the stomachache.)

So, I tried to go to work to talk to my coworkers.  And, uh, the only people there were new kids I barely know.

Feeling like a loser, I crawled back to my car.  In the midst of a crying/screaming/hysterical woman fit, I texted said cousin, being incredibly intrusive and asking if I could come over and crash their Christmas Eve plans.

Luckily, their Christmas Eve plan involved McDonalds and lying around barely dressed watching Tosh.0.

And Jerry and I just put glow stars up about three days ago, and I feel really peaceful looking at them.  This dream just combined warm fuzzy feeling + warm fuzzy feeling for a dose of happy.

In the mall, I saw a dress I really wanted.  When I inquired about it to a cashier, she told me it was just supposed to be a long shirt.


I looked back, and the whole damn display had changed.  (like dreams do.)


So I told her I would just take the long shirt, but found out it was $89.  I raegquit out of poorness, saying loudly to the cashier that I had better things to be spending my money on than ugly clothes.


Oh, no, my cheap brokeassery is making its way into dreams D:

I was back at one of my old houses that I have not lived in since I was seven or eight.  A man outside the house asks me if I wanted to come in, so I did.


This is a safe dream, no fears of predators or harm.  It is reflective.


I know what house this is - the house where I first found Buster.  (my first and only dog; read the last part of this post for full details)


In the dream, I got the notion that this was also where he was buried, while in reality, he is buried at a different house, because he died after we'd moved away from this one.


I procrastinated, doing other things around the house to avoid going out back like I knew I needed to.  but finally, I did.


The backyard is set up like a maze - it's over an acre of backyard, and my father used to mow it so that taller grasses would give it a maze effect.  Large stones dotted the grasses, and I found where he was buried, in dream, and sat and pondered his life and my life since.


I have not dreamed of Buster in years, and suddenly I've had two in the last month?

I think this might be me struggling to come to terms with his loss, after all these years.  It's still so painful that my brain wants me to move on, probably.

Carrying on with the past bit, on to the next one.

At the house I lived in in Tennessee right before we moved out of state (the house where Buster is actually buried), I was wandering along in the backyard like I always did.  My neighbor's horses, that I have not seen in the six years since I moved, came up to the fence like they always used to, letting me pet them.


When I left this house in reality, one of the horses was getting older, not doing so well.  But in the dream, she is as beautiful and healthy as I remember her.  I was beyond relieved to see all four of them happy, healthy, and still familiar with me.


I glance over to the neighbors on the other side of us and realize that we have not visited them since the move, even though we were so close right before the move.


This one move altered my life forever.

I was thirteen, just finished eighth grade.  My mother can't breathe in Tennessee, you see - the mold, pollen, any moisture, etc makes it impossible.  So she moved us first to New Mexico.  When she was unhappy there, we moved to Colorado, where they are now.  I myself moved back to Tennessee right when I turned 18, but that is a whole 'nother adventure.

So, I have a lot of grudges about getting moved like that.  And then getting moved again.  All the while, trying to keep my long-distance relationship with Tennessee-bound Jerry alive.

While in the end, I got Jerry and am back in Tennessee, the past still haunts me.

Okay, okay, the next dream is humorous, neeeext.

There is this brand of Vodka called Skol.

source: http://www.bartonbrands.com/

Anyone who drinks will tell you that it is the worst thing you can possibly drink.  It's super cheap - the smaller varieties even come in plastic - and people only buy it to get super drunk super fast.  Or if they are just poor.

My history with Skol is that I had an apartment party with some coworkers one night, and one of the attendants left his vodka in my fridge.  I called him up the next day like, hey, dude, there's vodka in my fridge.

He said I could keep it, so I eventually drank it all.

I've only had a couple brands of vodka, so I didn't realize the reason it was so dry/bitter/stingy was because it was the cheapest goddamn vodka in all the world.

This was also back before I knew to keep vodka in the freezer, if this puts it in perspective.

I mean, if someone left a liter in my fridge again, I'd probably still drink it (I hate waaaaste), but I know definitely not to ever get it for myself.  Cheapass vodka.

So, in the dream, I was stuffing Skol into my freezer while another coworker (who has been at my parties), Meagan, put tupperware made out of pressed condom wrappers back into my cabinets.


If there is deep symbolism in this condom wrapper/Skol/Meagan dream, I'm totally missing the mark.

That is it for me.  Finally!  Wow, I dreamed a lot.

I ate McDonalds right before bed like a real 'Murkin.  I had two McDoubles and a large fry.  O me o my.
I slept from 11 - 8 or so, but it was super choppy (that usually helps with remembering dreams.)  I was up and down all night between Jerry going to and from work (12 - 4a, wtf?) and our cats jumping on me and/or licking me.  Grr.

The Dollface / What's it like to get your vagina licked? / Invisibility

So, sadly, had a lot of random dream clips last night but only remember three.  I got woken up a LOT last night through my attempted sleeping time, and that generally makes it impossible to have long, worthwhile dreams and just leaves me with broken, short pieces.

But here they are!

I was getting ready in front of a mirror.  I had long, thick eyelashes and dark eyeliner like a doll and short, curly hair with a mini top hat.  What really fascinated me was that I was brushing bangs.  Bangs!  I have not had those since I was pre-teen.


I was fricken gorgeous, but it was still kinda weird and didn't feel like me.  I'll make a new label for dreams where I'm not myself from here on in.

Sitting in a classroom, someone opened up a discussion of, "What is oral sex like for females?"


The person asking it was male.  The first person to answer was... TA DA.  One of my ex girlfriends.  (The most recent one.  Previously referred to as the one who was extremely important to me, but childishly blocked me online and went on to rant about me in public forums.)


While she was answering, I interrupted her with the most brilliant definition I could think of.


"It's great, you know, it's warm and all.  But not nearly enough friction to get off on!  You're better off pleasing your girl some other way!"


Cue silence as this jewel of wisdom sinks in.


Ahahaa....


So, we'll just call this ex by her name, Brianna.  Tired of these 'previously referred to' bits.

So, this is her first appearance in my dreams since we stopped talking about a month and a half ago, so it's pretty strange.  Also, since I never put my mouth on her junk I think my brain was just filling in the blanks, since I know her current boyfriend has done her the favor by now.  And I doubt she feels as 'whatever' about it as I do, so yes.  Weirdness.

Probably what made me dream of her now was I just found out yesterday she's been calling Jerry/my live-in love bird constantly over the last week or so (as in, 25 missed calls), which sits even stranger with me.  The unease wormed its way into my subconscious.

Oh, oh, wait, one more.

In a place where magic of some kind is possible, a group of people are unknowingly playing a survival game.


Like the Marauder's Map of Harry Potter, some people are given a map of similar nature showing where the opponents and teammates are.


It's a group of humans struggling against another group who want to kill them.


So I have an ability that proves quite useful, although short lived: I can cast invisibility, but it only lasts for half a minute or so and does not mask sounds that I'd make.  I find out I can also use it to shield more than myself, but only get to use it on one other person simultaneously.


I do it by putting my hand over my head, revolving it in a circle a couple times, then making a fist.  As long as the fist is above us, we should be invisible, but eventually the strength will run out and I'll have to recast.


There was one room on the map that if you entered, for some reason, instead of giving an exact location next to your name, it would say "N/A" or "??"


I figured out that was the safest place to sit and think, because hell, whatever was trying to kill us was mighty powerful.


When these things first started appearing to take us out, my coworker Mark (WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE AGAIN) came up to me crying, saying he could not find his (real life) wife-to-be, Angela, and feared she was probably dead already.


I confided in him that I could not find Jerry, but I hoped for the best.


The dream end with me and one other person holed up in the magic N/A room, shivering in fear.  A group of the invaders comes in and I shield us, but they are in there so long talking I have to recast.  That split second where we were visible was so frightening I almost couldn't hold my hands steady enough to cast.


I think this was just my brain having a little fun.  It does this sometimes, gives me interesting circumstances like straight out of a good novel or movie.  Fear is the spice of dreams!  Ahahaaa.

My brain likes to decide what is good for plot and implements it.  I wonder if all writers have dreams that play out like stories.

So, yes, this is everything that I remember!

I think I slept for... uh... at least eight hours, between all the waking up.  I went to bed fairly hungry for once.

Taking bullets! Sort of.

People always say, "I love you so much I'd take a bullet for you!"

But how many mean that?

Proud to say now that I know without a doubt that I would.  (Even if they missed.  :D)

Jerry and I were on a moving bus heading down a street at night, having just deplaned.  Someone pulled out a gun, aimed at Jerry, and before they could even cock the gun, I put myself in front of him and tried to pull him as hard as I could to get him away from danger.


Upon inspection, I checked myself for blood.  I had been missed.  The window behind us spiderwebbed from the impact.


A small dream, but very pleasing and ego-stroking for me.  Hm, yes, quite right.  Pip pip!

A Belated Set Of Snippets

So, I have not posted since Dec 26, mostly due to lack of interesting / lengthy dreams.  Oh well!  Here's some snippets.

Jerry and I were fighting over cheese that he bought from the grocery store.  I was absolutely aggravated by him buying a cheese that was the wrong kind.  Since it was opened and he'd already eaten some, we could not return it for the right cheese.  So I ripped the package of cheese from his hands and threw it on the ground.  *cue Lonely Island song*


While in real life I would not do this over cheese, there was one time that he spent $8 of my money on a toilet scrubber instead of buying a cheaper option.  ($8 is a lot of freaking money when you're really poor, which we were at the time.)  I did not react well, but it's in the past now, and we have a fancy fucking toilet scrubber.

THE FANCIEST.
(yes, this is the exact one we own.)

image source: Walmart.com

So I can kinda see where maybe this dream had roots. I tend to be a lot angrier in dreams.

I was standing in an open field with a set of train tracks.  I watched one go by.  Large, black, normal train going at a normal speed.


Lame, I know!  I'm only mentioning it because of the recurring theme of trains in my dreams and wanted to document this.

In a clearing was a white building that looked a little decayed and decrepit.  I wandered inside, and found a room with upside staircases and impossible angles.  The M. C. Escher room!  I want in and leaned against a pillar and just studied the room.


I know there was more to this dream, but it's lost now.  I feel that I was hiding from someone, perhaps.

My cousin and I were wanting to hang out.  She and I put on fancy Victorian-esque dresses and get into a horse carriage with my father and set out.  As we pass some shops, Chasity giggles.  We are passing what was essentially a sex shop.  She mentions that they sell the best corsets, and with a jab to my ribs, she says, "Remember?"


This is another one of those dreams that told me I'd had a dream previously, that I am not certain I really did. Or did I?  My conscious mind forgot them, but my subconscious wants me to recall them?

When she asked me if I remembered, I had a mental flashback to a dream I am not sure I had ever really had where I am in the shop, in the space between the walls (wide enough for one person), and I am afraid for my life, like some dark thing is chasing me.

I do not typically have dreams telling me about previous dreams, so this is a little weird to me.  And probably Chasity showed up in my dream is because I do not see her that often, but I just did on Christmas Eve not too long ago.


Well, that's it for me.  I need to get less lazy in my documentation and just post these in the morning right after I have them.  X)

The Squirrel, Amusement Park

In my workplace, I was walking through the bookshelves and saw a mouse run by.  Then, along the wall across from me, a squirrel was running around behind a bunch of books.


A blonde woman came with a roll of tape and asked me to help her catch the squirrel with the tape.  I told her it was animal cruelty and would rather hit myself in the face than tape down a squirrel.


So I picked up a sitting chair and bashed her upside the head with it.  Simultaneously, I had a vision of my sleeping self on the outside while committing the act.


Notes:
I have a lot of violent dreams, although I am not violent in real life.  :S  Not really.

I was riding this thing known as the Himalaya.  (You know the one.)

image source: http://www.italintl.com/

But instead of being loud and super fast, it was quiet and relaxing, like a merry-go-round.  My manfriend was riding it with me.  Very peacful.

Immediately before bed - ate a slice of beef bologna

An hour or so before bed - ate a slice of tiramisu and a couple cookies

(I'm noticing a pattern of eating fattening food before sleeping.)

Approx. sleep duration - 2 hours (1p - 3p)