Two Headed Dog, ????

Seriously weird dream last night.  Obviously means something.  Maybe.

A two-headed dog was put in my care.


This creature had no hind end, and therefore no anus or anything.  One head on each end.  It was white, wiry, and looked small, kinda like a scottie dog.


This dog would bite people, but not hard.  It was the first thing it did to me, bite me...


I told myself I could train it to love people again.


I found out the dog had diabetes and would have special meal requirements.  It also occurred to me that anything with a head on each end would have to excrete out of one - a horrid thought.


I told myself, no one else will take care of this poor creature, just because it is different.


But I will.


I love animals, and all living things in general.  I feel like everything has a right to life, and to be respected.  I wanted so badly to help this dog, and care for it.

I feel like it must have meant something... it was too clear, too vivid...



Also, I found a text file on my desktop that was supposed to be a reminder to myself of dreams I had, but it has been so long, I do not remember a lot about these.  I'm posting my shorthand, because it's just funny how confusing it looks as shorthand, haha...

People building own computers in future 

(seems legit.)

random sexy guy chomping on neck while playing a game that decided the end of the world 

(uh.... huh...?)

Large apartment, didn't use half, something behind a door

Felt weak nearing it, almost swooning

Opened door, little black boy in a dusty cell cowering from something

Talk of radiation

A kitten escaped through the hole into our apartment

(I remember this one being like a nightmare, almost...)

Oven dog

(Literally, it was me who put an old dog into a cremation oven.  I think this was brought on by my discussions with volunteers at animal shelters.  Fucking terrible.  *shiver*)

lucid dream, fighting over clear files

ran out after fighting for them

could fly

flew over to an antique civil-war-ish house

Bailey on porch

looked and saw another Bailey

Realized was dreaming

walked with one Bailey through a street

Thought to self what a waste it was to be dreaming of this

(whut)

(Bailey is the neighborhood stray cat, btw)

late for work

but got into a weird fight with a blonde

arrested

excused from work absence

(wtf... what were we fighting over lolwut)

Mark #2 - The Stars - Being Poor - The Graveyard - My Old Horses/Neighbors - SKOOOLLL

AKA a cool bunch of snippets!

Throughout the night, I made a huge, conscious effort to remember everything.  Everything.  So, whenever I would awake, I came up with a keyword for the dream to help me remember it.  It appears to have worked, because I actually remember more than usual.

The cool thing is, I even dreamed of writing down the keywords.  Talk about dream control.

Anyway, on to the dreams!

Jerry confronted me one day about how he knew about the party and what had happened.  I had no idea what he was talking about.


Then suddenly, unbidden, I remembered what he was talking about. It all came to me in a flash.


I had gotten drunk and had sex with our (irl) neighbor, Mark.  (not the coworker Mark.  Wow, I know a lot of Marks.)


I felt horrible, with immediate regret.


I did not get a good reading on what Jerry felt.  We can all assume it was not pleasant.  :|  *poker face*

Our neighbor Mark is an older guy, probably around 30 or so.  (For those that don't know, I'm fricken 19.)  He is a bassist in a garage-type band.  Jerry and I are on pretty friendly terms with him, cause he is a pretty cool guy.  He's got a little dog named Izzy.  Perfect conversation starter.  We see him out walking her a lot, that's usually when we see him to stop and talk to him.

But, not only does he have a lovely girlfriend and a happy-ass little dog, I don't think of him like that.

My brain probably went "Okay, okay, cheating dream, pick a person, preferably male-- AH.  MARK THE NEIGHBOR IT IS, WHEEL'O'SEX."

Guess it could have been worse.   Poor Mark the Neighbor.

I was lying with my Mom's cousin (so my first cousin? second?) and her daughter in their room beneath a huge sea of glow in the dark stars that covered all the walls and ceiling.  I felt at peace.


I know exactly how this got cranked out.  On Christmas Eve I was left alone too long with my period having just started that day, so I got rull, rull lonely.

Jerry was off with his family.  I do not get along with his father, and I think I might've had a stomachache.  Regardless, I didn't go to this awesome party that I loved last year with his family because I am a pussy who could not face his father.  (That I'm a Pussy feeling may have brought on the stomachache.)

So, I tried to go to work to talk to my coworkers.  And, uh, the only people there were new kids I barely know.

Feeling like a loser, I crawled back to my car.  In the midst of a crying/screaming/hysterical woman fit, I texted said cousin, being incredibly intrusive and asking if I could come over and crash their Christmas Eve plans.

Luckily, their Christmas Eve plan involved McDonalds and lying around barely dressed watching Tosh.0.

And Jerry and I just put glow stars up about three days ago, and I feel really peaceful looking at them.  This dream just combined warm fuzzy feeling + warm fuzzy feeling for a dose of happy.

In the mall, I saw a dress I really wanted.  When I inquired about it to a cashier, she told me it was just supposed to be a long shirt.


I looked back, and the whole damn display had changed.  (like dreams do.)


So I told her I would just take the long shirt, but found out it was $89.  I raegquit out of poorness, saying loudly to the cashier that I had better things to be spending my money on than ugly clothes.


Oh, no, my cheap brokeassery is making its way into dreams D:

I was back at one of my old houses that I have not lived in since I was seven or eight.  A man outside the house asks me if I wanted to come in, so I did.


This is a safe dream, no fears of predators or harm.  It is reflective.


I know what house this is - the house where I first found Buster.  (my first and only dog; read the last part of this post for full details)


In the dream, I got the notion that this was also where he was buried, while in reality, he is buried at a different house, because he died after we'd moved away from this one.


I procrastinated, doing other things around the house to avoid going out back like I knew I needed to.  but finally, I did.


The backyard is set up like a maze - it's over an acre of backyard, and my father used to mow it so that taller grasses would give it a maze effect.  Large stones dotted the grasses, and I found where he was buried, in dream, and sat and pondered his life and my life since.


I have not dreamed of Buster in years, and suddenly I've had two in the last month?

I think this might be me struggling to come to terms with his loss, after all these years.  It's still so painful that my brain wants me to move on, probably.

Carrying on with the past bit, on to the next one.

At the house I lived in in Tennessee right before we moved out of state (the house where Buster is actually buried), I was wandering along in the backyard like I always did.  My neighbor's horses, that I have not seen in the six years since I moved, came up to the fence like they always used to, letting me pet them.


When I left this house in reality, one of the horses was getting older, not doing so well.  But in the dream, she is as beautiful and healthy as I remember her.  I was beyond relieved to see all four of them happy, healthy, and still familiar with me.


I glance over to the neighbors on the other side of us and realize that we have not visited them since the move, even though we were so close right before the move.


This one move altered my life forever.

I was thirteen, just finished eighth grade.  My mother can't breathe in Tennessee, you see - the mold, pollen, any moisture, etc makes it impossible.  So she moved us first to New Mexico.  When she was unhappy there, we moved to Colorado, where they are now.  I myself moved back to Tennessee right when I turned 18, but that is a whole 'nother adventure.

So, I have a lot of grudges about getting moved like that.  And then getting moved again.  All the while, trying to keep my long-distance relationship with Tennessee-bound Jerry alive.

While in the end, I got Jerry and am back in Tennessee, the past still haunts me.

Okay, okay, the next dream is humorous, neeeext.

There is this brand of Vodka called Skol.

source: http://www.bartonbrands.com/

Anyone who drinks will tell you that it is the worst thing you can possibly drink.  It's super cheap - the smaller varieties even come in plastic - and people only buy it to get super drunk super fast.  Or if they are just poor.

My history with Skol is that I had an apartment party with some coworkers one night, and one of the attendants left his vodka in my fridge.  I called him up the next day like, hey, dude, there's vodka in my fridge.

He said I could keep it, so I eventually drank it all.

I've only had a couple brands of vodka, so I didn't realize the reason it was so dry/bitter/stingy was because it was the cheapest goddamn vodka in all the world.

This was also back before I knew to keep vodka in the freezer, if this puts it in perspective.

I mean, if someone left a liter in my fridge again, I'd probably still drink it (I hate waaaaste), but I know definitely not to ever get it for myself.  Cheapass vodka.

So, in the dream, I was stuffing Skol into my freezer while another coworker (who has been at my parties), Meagan, put tupperware made out of pressed condom wrappers back into my cabinets.


If there is deep symbolism in this condom wrapper/Skol/Meagan dream, I'm totally missing the mark.

That is it for me.  Finally!  Wow, I dreamed a lot.

I ate McDonalds right before bed like a real 'Murkin.  I had two McDoubles and a large fry.  O me o my.
I slept from 11 - 8 or so, but it was super choppy (that usually helps with remembering dreams.)  I was up and down all night between Jerry going to and from work (12 - 4a, wtf?) and our cats jumping on me and/or licking me.  Grr.

Unicorn Girls, Washington DC, Snippets of a Dream Long Since Had

I was in my former fourth grade classroom, as my present age and self.  My teacher gave me a shirt that said something like

Unicorns.

I took all the good ones.

referring to the girls I have dated.  I don't know how, but I knew that's what it meant.


Not a very long one, but a little strange.

Notes:
I have feelings of nothing but hatred towards the school I went to when I was in fourth grade.  I also didn't care for the teacher too much.  She was an old woman at the time, probably deathly old now.

I also do not remember the three girls I've dated fondly, either.  One is a hopeless girl who blames others for all her shortcomings/when she does not get her way, one I dated for barely a week before she left me for her exboyfriend (ouch.), and the last one, I just recently dropped all communication with because I loved her so much it hurt to talk to her.  She behaved very immaturely about it, and actually managed to lessen my opinion of her by the childish way she chose to block me and try to make fun of me afterwards on a public page online.

I guess all three were good people in there own way.  Unicorns, if you will...

I looked in the mirror.  Wow, I'm prettier than normal.  My hair is fluffier, longer, darker.  My face is free of my current dwindling post-teen acne, and my eyelashes are long, with no glasses hiding my eyes.  I'm really pretty.


So I was in a house that was proportionately smaller than regular ones, with lower ceilings and such, as if meant for smaller people.  On the shelves in the bathroom is row upon row of tiny little vials of cologne and perfume.  I dab some on and head out.


I was heading for Washington DC on a class trip, but I was running very very late.  My father was rushing me; he was going to drive me there.  I finally get in the car, but as we drive along down the road, I realize that I left my MP3 player at home, and I'll be damned if I'm going on a trip without it.


In the midst of the adrenaline rush of I'm Going To Be Late and Please Stop Rushing Me, I found myself spiraling into a hopeless feeling.  I told him to stop the car through tears.  We had three minutes to get there one a drive that normally took fifteen and I just wanted to give up.


Notes:
Running behind / being late / missing the bus is a reoccurring theme of mine.  So is packing up things to move, in slow motion.  As in, clearing my desk to go to another class in slow motion.  In this case, it was getting ready in slow motion.  In reality, I am hardly ever late to anything, ever.  Number of days I've been late to work my entire life?  Two.  One due to weather, the other because my alarm didn't go off :X

I love Washington DC, btw.  Been there twice, both on class trips.  I guess that's where that probably came from.

Also, in my fiance's father's house is a bathroom with a lot of tiny cologne/perfume bottles on a shelf.

Snippets -
While dreaming, I remembered a flash of another dream I've had before.  Or did I?  Did the dream just make me believe I had dreamed it before, altering my memories themselves?
It was a restaurant in the deserts of Colorado, a tiny, tiny little hole in the wall in a strip of homely wooden shops.  There was a chill in the air, like Christmas wind.  Inside, the smell of breakfast.  This place was only big enough for a bar and five stools, and a couple tables at the end.  So, prop yourself up, the cider's almost done!


Notes:
Inside I feel like I have been to this place before in my dreams.  That I have been there with friends, or waiting for friends.  But have I really, or is it the dream... giving me false memories...  I remember this scene so vividly, but it does not exist, and I remember nothing else.

Immediately before bed - mac and cheese, spaghetti with (homemade) meatballs, cup of tea
(This is starting to make me realize I'm lucky to not be fat.  I always eat fattening food RIGHT before going to sleep!!)
Approx. sleep duration - 10 hours (9:45p - 8a)

The Impending Breakup, Good Luck Trying Not To Die!

Not much to say to preface these.  One of them was a little more violent than my normal dreams.  I don't really call something a 'nightmare' unless it really shakes me - my subconscious seems to think that a little fear is healthy and makes for a better dream.

So, unless I wake up afraid, to me, what might be a nightmare to others is just a bad dream to me.  Just to clarify!

So, these are both just bad dreams.  But two in one night!  No more soup before bed, perhaps?

A coworker of mine, Mark, and his longtime girlfriend, Angela, were sitting with me just chatting at cafeteria table.  They let it slip to me that Angela admitted recently to having cheated on Mark, and while he was doing his best to put up a good front, I could tell he was dying inside.  I told them as bluntly as I think I would have in real life, "You're done for.  You're going to break up.  Good luck."  I stood and walked off.


Notes:
Mark and Angela have a pretty good thing going.  They're been dating for forever and are pretty happy together, so far as I know.  I don't know why my brain would do this to them.

Sure, he can be a whiny guy, and he chose to stay here with her instead of move to Japan, but she makes him very happy, and she herself is ficken awesome.  Beautiful, cooks, cleans, super smart.  I apologize to them on behalf of my brain.

Super fun note time!  This is actually Mark, hahaha.

See, he's sweet.  lololol.

This one is patchy, so I'll just tell it like I remember it.  There was a place, kinda like a wildlife enclosure, but instead of enclosing wildlife, it enclosed danger of all sorts - traps, weapons, and other things to kill you.

It looked a lot like a prairie inside - long grasses.  The object of the game was to survive the time limit of ten minutes, and not many did.

I was the gate keeper who admitted people.  And the person who walked up to take the challenge?  Another coworker of mine |D  Her name is Jordan, and I just warned her to stay alive and let her in without much hesitation.

At the very end of the time limit, she caught fire.  The time ended right before she really started burning, so she won, lived, and was restored to normal.

Notes:

Jordan is a super sweet, super nice, bubbly happy intellectual girl.  She reminds me of Zooey Deschanel in looks, actually.  She's not a coward, but this didn't seem to fit her personality.  Maybe this spoke of her fighting an inner demon that seemed ungodly dangerous, but since she's a strong, capable woman, she'll overcome it.

Also, this is very similar to the plot of the anime series GANTZ.  People are given a time limit to defeat an alien while trying not to die.  When the time limit reaches zero or the alien has been annihilated, people are healed and returned to the real world via teleportation.

So, that's it for this time.  Hopefully I'll get something better.  I'm about to lie down for a nap right now, actually.  Since I got up at five in the fricken morning today.


Two and a half/maybe two hours before bed: drank water, ate vegetable soup and bread slices
Approx. sleep duration - 7.5 hours (9:30p - 5a) (which sucks, but someone has to brew the coffee for the pencil pushers.)